Love. The four-letter verb that we so freely share with others, but too often forget to give to ourselves. I am a hardcore empath. I easily pick up on the energy and emotions of those around me at all times, whether or not I realize. My priority would always be to fester in those feelings and constantly give to others until I was worn to the ground. This might sound familiar to some of you, as it is otherwise known as anxiety.
I have been living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression since my teenage years. Along with the daily tasks that come with life, it is an entire job in and of itself to keep your thoughts and feelings at a happy equilibrium. It’s hard to explain to others what you deal with on a consistent basis, especially when they can’t relate. Most people living with a mental disorder will take it to their grave. The stigma is so real and the fear that festers inside of those who live with a mental disorder is even more real.
At times I feel embarrassed that I come with unwanted baggage. Taking care of my thoughts and feeling is something that has taken me years to learn to do. I used to shelter myself, worried that others would not be accepting of who I really am. When people seamlessly left my life, I would question myself like there was no tomorrow. Was it because I was too honest with how I felt? Did I share too much information? Should I have enjoyed alone time less? What did I do wrong that made walking out of my life so easy for them?
I hated myself for spending so much time thinking about what I did wrong. At the end of the day, everything happens for a reason, even if the reason is not apparent off the bat. Slowly, but surely, I began to rewire my brain to learn that there is nothing better than being unapologetically yourself. The prettiest thing you can be is authentic.
My flaws are what make me ME and I am more than okay with it. The best thing you can do for yourself is BE yourself. Your life will begin to unfold exactly how and when it is supposed to. Nothing happens in your comfort zone. In order to flourish, you must act on what makes you the most uncomfortable and nervous. Nobody is perfect. You just have to throw in the towel and say “today is the day I am going to be 100% myself.” I flaunt my imperfections and that’s what makes me Flawless.